A woman’s need isn’t as complex as most men think. A woman dressed in Capri business suit is of no difference to a woman wearing a summery dress. There’s always going to be a touch of sensitivity most often ignored. How to approach a woman in movies doesn’t always work well in real life. The basic rule is to be yourself and to act natural.

If you’re trying to get to know a woman you like or instantly you get attracted to, the situation could be handled depending on several factors—the place for possible acquaintance, whether she’s with friends or by herself, and what’s she’s doing at that moment. It is important to note that no matter how strong her character is, a certain touch of subtleness is required. Being subtle helps ease any pessimist thoughts on you approaching her with intentions. You are a stranger and by that it means the first few words could illicit any possible initial reactions. Before you come up to say hi, you need to prepare by observing. A woman’s looks tells more about her personality. If she’s conservatively wearing a black formal dress or suit, then you need to be of someone with strong personality, if not has some sense to say. You don’t want to be turned down with “you are wasting my time” end. If she’s wearing a bright colored dress, reading a book and enjoying her coffee, then you found a free-will, eager-to-make-time-for- conversation woman. If she’s with friends laughing and enjoying a good chat, you need to understand that her friends’ opinion matters. The last impression they want to give their friends is hanging out and/or entertaining an undesirable stranger. Timing also plays an important factor. The nicest woman could be the least accommodating when she’s busy and/or running out of time. It’s not going to be a good time for what could have been a good approach if she’s too acquainted with whatever she’s doing.

Women, in my opinion, are just girls with more expensive tastes than when they were younger. So, how to impress women is simply to upgrade what you were doing when you were 13. I tell you, fundamentally, this is the only way it could work.

For example, remember when you would go to a girl’s house in your bike with your group of friends just to see her? Spend time with her with all your friends hanging out too? Same. When you go out drinking with your buddies, take her along.

Remember when you would pull her hair and make her cry just to get her attention back in elementary school? Same. Date a lot of women (or at least give the impression that other women pine over you), and you’ve got her attention. Actually, you could regale her with stories of one other woman whom you’ve hurt without meaning to, how you feel sorry about what happened, yadi yadi yada.

Remember when you would pick a flower in the neighborhood park to give to her when you were a kid? Same. Buy her bouquets of flowers — the grander the arrangement, the better.

Remember when you would catch frogs to impress girls? Same. Work out like crazy to get that washboard abs. But be very nonchalant about taking your shirt off. Back in high school, you would ignore her the whole day and say hello only once. In the office? Ignore her while you flirt with someone else by the water station, but buy her a cup of Starbucks at least once a week.

See, women are very simple. They want to feel special, and the only way that could happen is if you are someone they deem important enough. So, this is your job. Make yourself as important as you can. Or, at the very least, pretend to heaven or high water that you are.

Soon after a little boy learns how to tie his shoelaces, another main skill he’d surely need to learn next is on how to impress girls. This is a skill that first gets practiced in pleasing mom, or a sister, but eventually turns into a life-long education of relating with women in the same process of forming his identity as a man. It becomes a game of learning how to be with and accepted by what seems to be the “other” and eventually reaches its culmination in finding a relationship and being unified with such other into a bigger wholeness.

And it’s a concern that a lot of them cannot seem to get. It isn’t rare to find a man who can give you the ABC’s of building a business empire, or a full-blown explanation of the basic principles of quantum physics, or give you all that in various different languages AND YET remain to be clueless in the realm of impressing girls. One would think that those skills are impressive enough. In fact, people normally think that good looks are enough, but all of these work only before the next moment when a woman begins to look for something more.

Now “something more” does not refer to another skill. Impressing women does not depend on skills or looks or tricks. Ultimately it boils down to something that already includes the “other.” Ultimately, it involves one thing that men, in every generation that arrives, seem to be losing more and more as a basic human ability. It is this: ATTENTION. If you’re in the inquiry of how to impress girls then you should be interested in how to pay attention to them. It is the one and only thing that is guaranteed to impress a girl for a sustained period of time.