How to Impress Women

Women, in my opinion, are just girls with more expensive tastes than when they were younger. So, how to impress women is simply to upgrade what you were doing when you were 13. I tell you, fundamentally, this is the only way it could work.

For example, remember when you would go to a girl’s house in your bike with your group of friends just to see her? Spend time with her with all your friends hanging out too? Same. When you go out drinking with your buddies, take her along.

Remember when you would pull her hair and make her cry just to get her attention back in elementary school? Same. Date a lot of women (or at least give the impression that other women pine over you), and you’ve got her attention. Actually, you could regale her with stories of one other woman whom you’ve hurt without meaning to, how you feel sorry about what happened, yadi yadi yada.

Remember when you would pick a flower in the neighborhood park to give to her when you were a kid? Same. Buy her bouquets of flowers — the grander the arrangement, the better.

Remember when you would catch frogs to impress girls? Same. Work out like crazy to get that washboard abs. But be very nonchalant about taking your shirt off. Back in high school, you would ignore her the whole day and say hello only once. In the office? Ignore her while you flirt with someone else by the water station, but buy her a cup of Starbucks at least once a week.

See, women are very simple. They want to feel special, and the only way that could happen is if you are someone they deem important enough. So, this is your job. Make yourself as important as you can. Or, at the very least, pretend to heaven or high water that you are.

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